I am questing!!!

Not made for defeat.

2011-06-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

How often do you get the chance to watch your life fall apart and rebuild? If you're lucky, once will have been enough.

The idea of loss was introduced to me at a very young age. My biological father left before I could remember and any memories I have of him are violent and disappointing. I thank my sister, Erica, for being my reason to persevere... come to think of it, she is still that person.
My bio dad's mother, whom I adored, passed away before I could finish elementary school. It was raining the day I found out. Funny how the heavens know what mood music to play on somber days. Everything you think you could never feel at such a young age was intensified in my heart. I recall vaguely the ceremony; still remembering her face as she lay silently in that casket... I kissed it and hoped she would awaken from her peaceful slumber, she lay motionless. I started to forget.
I had mom and I had Erica... my sweet Erica. She was born with a cleft palette, she was always special but not in the way that requires pity. We shared everything up until we were legal adults.
My sister Cassandra was an abrupt addition. Almost like I didn't know it was happening until it happened. My mothers pregnancy here was vague. I saw less of her as she stayed most often in Long Island with the father. Erica and I had Abuela. This memory stretches for a longer period of time then the adults verify which I can contribute to a child's difficulty with conceptualizing time.
In comes Raymond. My mother remarried, a younger man no less. He seemed nice enough to me; Erica on the other hand had major reservations. The midnight arguments were intense enough to understand her frustration. I always wondered what would have happened if we had tried to put her "stop the wedding" scheme into play.
As with love and marriage, the baby arrived shortly thereafter - Rayven.

From NY-Florida. Still in the 4th grade, we packed and we moved to New Port Richey, FL. The Tampa Bay area was fine. We moved around a lot. This probably explains my inability for stability, but whose blaming anyone? My home was seldom peaceful. 4 daughters, an intense mother and an overly laid back step-dad. Erica and I never were able to get to close to him, we were older though and our mom was always both. Cassandra and Rayven were young enough to build the bond that was needed for a healthy parent-child relationship.

Martin. We started together the summer before my senior year in HS. What a beautiful atrocity.

This information is all abridged. I completed elementary/middle/highschool and 2yrs of college in Florida before following my parents back to NY, this time upstate. Erica now had a family and she stayed. Abuela was always nearby, so I knew she would be fine.

NY woes. I struggled to find the right school to finish my degree and ended going back to Florida, if only for a semester. I returned and as luck would have it, I was accepted and attended Purchase College.

Emotional. I'm a mess anyway you look at it. Coming from a household environment where there is more arguing than talking is very wearing on the soul. I don't trust men and trust them too much. I'm strong as a woman and weak as a lover.

He leaves. Raymond the cheater disappears, is sought out and not punished. Our family is forever shambled.

I lose my mother. Not in the literal sense, but at this point what might the difference be. She took him back. I have never known a stronger woman to look so weak. My best friend now receives the indifference of a stranger because I don't know her anymore.

Lone Ranger in the city. I'm tired of writing. My story, detailed or abridged is depressing me.

I am not made for defeat. But I am hard at work self destructing. Recovery mode on.

Its not just you... I'm anxious too.

2011-03-11T18:53:00.000-08:00

Falling in and out of love has been the biggest and most painful process that I have endured to date. It pulls at parts of the soul, that for what ever reason, you didn't know you had at all. The lack of sleep, the repeated phone calls, the hours of crying, the broken spirit, the temporary hate, the pleading for return... Why?

I'm anxious. I don't remember when I started feeling this way, but now I feel it all the time about everything. Believing that no one can fill the shoes of that lost love, wandering the streets of hopelessness drifting in and out of use. When I say use I refer only to the bodies that present themselves in lackluster form to entertain the idea that you are healing. We only occupy the space because we know not what else to do, we feel lost. I am lost.

I am now anxious and lost. Being lost makes me more anxious, will the cycle of crime committed by our hearts never let up, ever let go. We jump from the him who entertained the spring with words of a poet so sweet but with the intentions of a thief, stealing what little hope had formed.
The summers pass with the king of hearts so hell bent on passion and lies that I was too blind to catch until I too was lying, mostly to myself for thinking anything could work- I'm still there but not there.
The fall I pulled into the past looking for a re-do that would never suffice for either of us. I am broken.

I sit lost, anxious and broken. My winter is love, but only the love that I search for in novels and poetry. He is but a painter and I his muse amongst other muses. His passion, our connection, explosive and deadly but I stay and wait for nothing or something. I know there is only darkness where the tunnel should stream with the warmth of the sun. We dance the dance of passion, but his appetite is farther reaching than I. Or is it I that is farther reaching than him?
Run free with him I do no matter what truth I conceal. He is who I have waited for, nothing has felt truer to date other than the day I met my first love... who left me anxious.

I am anxious, lost, broken and In Love...

**Image used above is copyrighted, please do not copy or reproduce**

??????

2011-03-03T13:02:00.000-08:00

I sit in the early stages of March, considering my opinion of my current state. Conforming to the events that I cannot change, spontaneously approaching the next steps all the while staying cautious of the mistakes I make. Christina the walking contradiction... what else is there?
Dear grad school, I am forced to put you on hold but trust that it is all for the best. I don't believe the words that I speak but continue to speak them as truths for what else do I have if not my truths?
Currently listening to a song that epitomizes, in exact emotion, the fuckery that I have put myself into. I can wipe the slate clean over and over again but if I don't get into the corners & cracks of the space I fill then I beg you, how clean is my slate?

Decisions how you torment me. Work/School/Love?

I am thinking... and writing!

2011-03-03T12:51:00.000-08:00

Using every title in a thought! Can you guess what album this is from?? Its great from start to finish... leave a comment with your thoughts.

I'm STARRY EYED even though EVERYTIME YOU GO the LIGHTS fade. I start to have LITTLE DREAMS of you coming HOME and I feel like an ANIMAL, UNDER THE SHEETS, yearning. BELIEVE ME, THIS LOVE (WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL) but if we don't try it will always be YOUR BIGGEST MISTAKE. I'm only HUMAN with SALT SKIN from running around trying to find THE WRITER of my heart. Grab your GUNS AND HORSES and find me, because this is YOUR SONG. Don't WISH I STAYED when I finally leave too because it's only so long I'LL HOLD MY BREATH for us.

Spontaneous 2011, I welcome you!

2011-01-05T10:12:00.000-08:00

I left 2010 in a blaze of awesomeness! Why wouldn't I be excited for a brand new year? It's a clean slate to fill with amazing friends, big smiles, happy tears, great accomplishments and so much more.

New Years was a blast! I went to Zack & Alex's shindig downtown on South Street and couldn't have made a better decision. I met up with already incredible people and made some new additions. Delmar, Zaza and Michelle where there as my party crew to dance the night away and drink it out in style all for the sake of ending the year in fuckery! LOL.

So whats new you wanna know? Well I don't even have the answer to that yet, but whatever it's to be filled with is sure to be phenomenal. I'm closing out the first week of the New Year and already wiping out any loose issues so that my sheet is pristine :0) !!!

Goal for the year is to be more spontaneous, continue to run, learn a new language, find happiness, travel to at least three new countries, party harder, read more, and keep it super honest!

26.2 Miles of Glory

2010-11-10T13:14:00.000-08:00

The New York City Marathon is, by far, one of the worlds most coveted races. People come from far and wide to run in the city that never sleeps. For years, the average hope for a bid to run the tree-lined, sky-scraped and populated streets along five amazing boroughs that make up New York City!

My bid, my gift, my life changing event: Team For Kids.

I didn't join for the perks or for the automatic bid into the NYC Marathon; to be frank, I had no idea what that was or what I was getting into. This past week I have been asked, a lot actually, what made me decide to run the NYC Marathon? Ha. After the laughter subsides I explain my story: A friend that was looking to run in the marathon asked if I wanted to come to this training practice with her. I indulged for sake of doing something new. I bought some running shoes the night before, got up early on Saturday and headed to Central Park.

When I arrived I was greeted by other people wearing bright green tank tops and full of life. I mean, here I was in my tie dye cheer shorts and a tshirt :/ lol. I didn't know what to expect, but I was most certainly a bunch of nerves. Then they gathered us and talked about the work out season and about the Team. I don't think I took much of it in, probably because I just wanted to get this over with and tell my friend that I fulfilled my word and came with her.
Shortly after the talk, we went on a brief warm up run, followed by a team stretch and then a 1-3 mile run. ::insert gasp here:: Okay, so most might not know this but I didn't run distance. I sprinted and did hurdles at very best, so you can imagine my horror at having to run up to 3 miles. Fast forward, I barely finished a mile and most of it was a walk but I did it and that was that, or so I thought.

What prompted me to go to another Saturday practice is far beyond me. Maybe it was to stay busy, or do things with a friend ::shrug:: I'm not sure but there I was again running. I remember my friend Jen telling me how crazy I was that first Saturday as I slipped on my Nike's. I can't say I disagreed with her at all. But as the weeks went on I thought myself less crazy and she did too.

I don't know when it occurred to me, but I needed to learn more about Team For Kids on my own because what I was getting from others was not enough. I discovered a beautiful organization doing amazing things to help children stay healthy and active and afford them with an opportunity that they wouldn't have otherwise. All I had to do was run and raise $2620... I couldn't believe that this was all I had to do to change a life. But really it was about to change my life in an even bigger way.

So from June 2010 to Nov 7th 2010 I ran 3 times a week with Team For Kids to prepare for the ING 2010 NYC Marathon. I ran in the heat, in the cold, in the rain, through the mud and completed two half marathons for something that I loved and have become so passionate about. Not only did I exceed my fundraising goal, but also the expectations I held for myself were fulfilled beyond anything I could have imagined.

It all came together when I crossed the finish line of my first ever marathon on Nov. 7th 2010!

This has been, by far, my greatest accomplishment. I exhibited courage, strength and a profound love for the adventure of running. It has changed me in ways that words will never convey properly. All I want to do is run more, and get everyone to run with me. Gosh, just imagine how much of a difference I have just made in even just one child's life this year! I want to do this every year and am so encouraged to seek new mediums to continue to give where ever I can.

What's more is the love and support that all of my friends and family have given me. They allowed me to harass them with countless emails, tweets and Facebook posts about my marathon charity. I hope they all know that they have changed lives as well. They have helped me raise over $2900 this year and pushed me to be greater in doing so. This, people, is HUGE! I promise to continue to grow and challenge myself in every way I can, and I will most certainly run more marathons because I AM A MARATHONER!!!

I am already gearing up for the Barcelona Marathon 2011 in March. I am a junkie for this running business and I'm hoping you will all stick by me to watch me on the journey.

With love and admiration,

-Christina M. Perez

A lovers purge... Poetry & Lyrics Aug/Sept 2010

2010-10-28T10:13:00.000-07:00

“Ridges”

If life is dark, defined by ridges of light

then shadows are where we stand

Perhaps shadows are all that we are

all we know to make of ourselves

I choose to be the ridges of light

against the rules,

breaking tradition.

“Pencil Your Love” (2010)

Pencil your love on a piece of scratch paper

Watch it float away with the next wind

This was your last chance to save her

No more time left, you'll have to pretend

How does it feel to be a coward

How does it feel to sit alone

Holding a bouquet of flowers

At her final resting home

life slips and tears drip

Souls fly when people die

Kiss me once or even twice

We have to make our love survive

Give me magic from the movie screens

Let me laugh at mr bean

Walking away won't change this course

Love was never mine, it was always yours

“Outlier” (August-September 2010)

I should be an outlier, malcolm wrote the book

Instead I'm just an average, take another look

As I stand here with my head down, hiding from your face

I gotta be more than just an inatimate mistake

You say you're an outlier

In my eyes your just a big liar

Swindling feelings I try to control

Being the king with the cards that don't fold

Flaunt all your happiness where I cannot see

Because I'm over it on my twitter feed

What are you proving? To who and then why?

My life is a life, I wont testify

“Weightless” (2010)

What's the scariest thing you've had to do?

Mine was the moment I let go of you.

Put my fears against my throat

And told you what you had to know

Love doesn't end because u say so

Its something you never let go

Like the size shoe you wear

Its always gonna be there

With my straight face I take control

With all my grace I hang up the phone

You and I were bound for greatness

But letting go makes me weightless

All of the contents of this blog belong to Christina M. Perez which holds copyrights to said content.

Twittertry Originals #1 by @TinaMarie13 aka ME!!!

2010-09-21T14:49:00.000-07:00

Don't squander the most important moments. Once the door slams shut, there may not be anymore to share. 11:57 PM Aug 11th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

It is with loss that we gain the strength to try again. Never back down from what you want. It won't stick around forever..u have to work. 11:54 PM Aug 11th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Sin decir me una palabra, yo entiendo este amor que me haces sufrir 10:04 PM Aug 10th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

life requires change... you can kick and scream all you want but change gon' come! 11:39 AM Aug 10th via web

As my heart grows fonder of you, my head realizes you are making this way to hard on me. 7:11 PM Aug 6th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Waiting for the love I need to find me and keep me safe... #illreturnthefavor 8:40 PM Aug 5th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

the one i want does not want me bad enough to make it work... an unexpected person wants to be that someone to make it work... what do i do? 1:45 PM Aug 3rd via web

As tears fill my eyes, I picture ur face and I lose my place. My heart on my sleeve, hear the way that it beats, its just something unique... 11:05 PM Jul 31st via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Wind blows & rain falls Im calling ur name. Truth forms at my lips, you kiss away the pain. Let yourself go, its time u should know-I love u 10:59 PM Jul 31st via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Nothing you want is impossible to attain... It may not happen the way you planned but success will be inevitable. 8:57 PM Jul 31st via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Sometimes tears are all we have to comfort us in the face of injustice and humiliation. 10:21 PM Jul 30th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

you could live your whole life and see everything the world has to offer... but without the love you desire, its not worth it! 3:28 PM Jul 29th via web

THE HEART KNOWS WHAT THE HEART WANTS...I WILL NOT FIGHT THAT 9:33 AM Jul 26th via web

Success is not measured by accomplishment, its measured by the ambition and hardwork behind the accomplishment! :o) 3:30 AM Jul 20th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Wearing my heart on my sleeve is an understatement. I've taken to carrying around a highway sized billboard...I'm learning to be okay w/ that 2:23 PM Jul 18th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

When two paths cross at the right moment, something about yourself will never be the same-you give, you love and you tolerate more. #love 2:20 PM Jul 18th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Everything requires a level of effort...it is only when the effort proves less than desired results that one must change methods. 2:17 PM Jul 18th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Sometimes the best things in life are the things we must part with in our search for completion and success. 2:15 PM Jul 18th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

I realized I was falling for him just now... he stopped talking to me and I saw his face and my heart sank to my stomache.. #heartbreak 6:59 PM Jul 13th via web

I can't play two roles right now, you're either in or out. Don't say that I'll love you, am I that see through? #myheartbreakpoetry 11:26 PM Jul 6th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

The person I am was never gonna be enough, ur heart was lifeless. I was longing for your touch, because your kiss was priceless. #MHP 11:13 PM Jul 6th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Who was I kidding...it was a mirage this love inside. Now I'm here sitting alone where I started, no you and I. #myheartbreakpoetry 11:06 PM Jul 6th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

With a little inspiration, the world becomes more vibrant in color and opportunity. Be the first to seize them, and make it last forever. 2:37 PM Jul 5th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Sometimes u do all u can do and its still not enough...but u proved what u had to with the chance u were given and that's what counts, always! 12:57 AM Jul 2nd via UberTwitter

Spontaneity is a key to having a rich and fulfilling life... Jumping out of a plane can't be diff then telling ur crush ur falling in love.. 8:06 PM Jun 24th via web

Love is never somethin you plan for. It finds you when ur not looking! It might help make u into who u want 2 be! #foodforthought kdubz 12:43 PM Jun 19th via UberTwitter

u can strip me of many things but my passion will not waiver! In the words of the-dream.. I WILL BREAK YOU DOWN 7:04 PM Jun 18th via Twitter for iPhone

It goes without saying that when one door closes another opens...but the transition is always awkward! 6:58 PM Jun 18th via Twitter for iPhone

the moment i stop thinking about him, and don't reach out... he appears and turns me upside down again. #imnotwithit 11:29 AM Jun 18th via web

I keep telling myself that i'll succeed and that is what it'll be... I AM GOING TO BE A SUCCESS! Make sure YOU tell yourself that 2! 9:56 PM Jun 7th via TweetDeck

Take a second today to appreciate the people in your life, personal or professional. Smiling, hugging or even tellin them they rock is dope! 10:23 AM Jun 7th via UberTwitter

Love unconditionally every chance you get. The truest form of love comes once in a blue...but u won't know until they love you! #iloveyou 9:52 PM Jun 6th via UberTwitter

I don't follow the rules.. or the trends! I answer to the captain of the ship and its not you...he's miles ahead of your game! #effYOU 4:39 PM Jun 4th via web

its is best to take a deep breath, shake it off & keep it moving when haters try to block your way! they don't know how hard i go 4 what i want 12:51 PM Jun 4th via web

Life is a revolving door...good and bad things come and go..people come in and out..I just wish he could stay-he's amazing! #ComeOnGod 1:19 AM Jun 3rd via UberTwitter

The choice between good an bad is sometimes defined by a very thin line... How long do u resist temptation to do something bad? #questions 10:38 PM Jun 1st via UberTwitter

what do you say to that person you love/ when words escape every breath in your lung/ just cant feel the same as i do/ i really wanna be with you 12:41 AM May 22nd via web

Whats the value of putting it all on the line? Perhaps relief..or the satisfaction of being totally honest with him/her and yourself! #love 3:48 AM May 21st via UberTwitter

My heart is skydiving.... parachute secure, pride intact and waiting for you to jump... #BeSpontaneous 11:16 AM May 17th via web

Love at first sight, first touch, first kiss, first words, first hug only happens once that way- regret nothing, just jump! 11:11 AM May 17th via web

Why is timing always off? Especially when you feel in your heart that this is exactly where you're supposed to be with who you should be. :( 11:08 AM May 17th via web

Never stop caring for someone just because they don't care as much about you. Someone more powerful has a bigger and better plan for you! 11:06 AM May 17th via web

how can the sound of a voice or eloquence of words melt the soul to a place that causes yearning for a touch, or a deep gaze into ur eyes? 11:03 AM May 17th via web

falling, whether in adoration or in love with someone, requires the strength of a million Spartans, an impenetrable shield & a heart of gold 10:59 AM May 17th via web

its a wonder how god knows exactly what friendships to gift someone... the kind that have you hearing sweet melodies of pure bliss 10:56 AM May 17th via web

its a good feeling when you can release everything you feel inside... life is to short not to lay it all on the line...right? <3 2:49 PM May 14th via web

When life deals u a hand that confuses u, remember that it is up to u to decide how to play it! Don't fold without giving it your all first :o) 2:41 AM May 13th via UberTwitter

The closest thing to truth I know is the honesty in your voice-nothing beats that right now! #honesty 3:36 AM May 11th via UberTwitter

Seeing someones true colors should come a lot faster... I can't afford to waste precious time and energy. #honesty 3:27 AM May 11th via UberTwitter

Falling in love is only half the fun... Being loved that way in return is where the party is at! #truelove 5:11 PM May 9th via UberTwitter

Its not heaven...its earth

2010-09-08T07:46:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to an abundance of bbms... And he completely broke my heart. I'm incapable of smiling, my heart feels like it was injected with lead and rid of all emotion. I am stone. I can't believe I haven't cried yet... I'm scared its going to hurt so I've subconsciously shut down. Things keep replaying in my head. But nothing makes any sense, nothing.

The bed seems like a good place to be right now, but I don't have time for that. Damn I haven't really made time for me. Why can't I cry at all? I don't want to be numb- my mind won't let me falter, my heart is beating like conga drums at the climax of a jungle action sequence.

The innocence of love is not innocent. I'm feeling really angry at the concept, I'm closing the book... This goes waaaay beyond chapters for me. Love in every facet of my life has been a disappointment if I reflect. I won't reflect, there is no need.

Positive thoughts right? This is what I've been giving as advice to family and friends "stay positive, things will look up" and I stood by the idea because it was one of the few things getting me through all the tough times I've had to face lately. I'm over it, its clearly not working. I need to be more of a realist, forget optimism.

I need to feel something, anything and I cannot. I want to be angry at myself for falling so hard, but I can't control matters of the heart.

How are you capable of saying what will and will not be? I have learned that you should give everything and everyone a fair chance. If not you end up selling yourself short and missing out on moments of joy, sadness, experience, etc. I am aware of my recent contradiction as I have now decided that I can't go through this again.

Ever seen Vicky Christina Barcelona? Yea... I'm feeling a mix of Vicky and Christina hard core. I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter. Did it ever really matter?

You Gotta Make The Move

2010-08-12T11:28:00.000-07:00

What is it about the sporadic serious of events that keep us so intertwined within moments that can only be explained as epic? It is a kiss, the hug that feels like we are two pieces that will only fit to each other? Maybe its all of that and I'm just fooling myself into thinking its one thing!

The city is drab lately, I am hoping for an escape next weekend that will include beaches and sunshine. Not that the weather out here hasn't been pleasant but eh change is good. I guess I'm trying to run away from stress. This is not to say that there weren't a lot of high points in the week but getting knocked of my routine has me a bit out of wack lol.

I'm in the mood for a bit of time traveling. Wishing I could start a few things over and react differently in specific situations. Peekaboo I'm really sorry that I didn't let you see me for me all the time. I didn't let my guard down enough and ruined something that could have been really great. In accepting my fault I really wish that everyone else would also. I really hate being lied to and put into positions that cause me to react in ways that aren't always a great representation of myself. I want to go back to the Metric concert... all the pieces fit perfectly then. ::sigh::

Running and getting ready to move into a new place have been the only things I have had a desire to do. My new home will be a temporary situation on the Upper West Side until I finally settle into my very first "on my own" apt without roommates sometime in December. I think I needed this middle period to decide where I really want to be in the next year. Signing a lease that locks you into a place for a set time is super stressful and I just don't want to have any regrets about it in the end. My heart tells me that I'm done with New York, but making a rash decision to move out of the city is one I can't rightfully afford. I'm hoping for a miracle right now to sweep me off my feet.
Speaking of feet, mine are killing me today. Yesterday was the Bronx Half Marathon and I completed it in one piece. I hate Grand Concourse and its rolling hills; my knee caps never hurt so bad in my life haha. It was, however, a super liberating experience. I challenged myself to do something and I followed through very sucessfully. I clocked my time at 2hrs and 17mins which is fabulous to me because I don't have anything to compare it to. This means that I can probably finish the NYC Marathon in about 4.5hrs... not too shabby for a first time distance runner aye!!

I got to see Stephanie this weekend which is always a treat. We spent a dope time shopping downtown- I spent a nice amount of money, much needed if you know how tight my budget always is. Ugh and yesterday after the marathon I need more retail therapy so I dropped $100 at Aerie ... I got some really cute things out of it! :0)

I need more sleepy time for sure this week. OMG Mandy gets here next week and there is NO ONE more excited than I am!

All we have is right here... right now!

2010-08-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

The sheer brilliance of never knowing makes living more bountiful doesn't it? Always leaving it up to chance, well not that we have much of a choice it would seem. I'm currently in a state of question, fighting away panic, feeling like Drake (what am i doing what am i doing... oh yea thats right im doin' me), if you catch my drift. On a whole, life has been really trying on my soul, but as of late its become rather fulfilling and magical.

Family is important, we can all agree there, but what happens when yours falls apart? Mine fell apart and I'm pretty sure I haven't fully grieved for the loss of relationships. Sometimes I think that I would even pay for an argument just to prove that there is an ounce of normality still left in my life. With a deep breathe I retract the thought and remember why things are the way that they are and find gratitude in all that has come from the inconsistency.

Relationships change everyday, with or without the wind. When something is lost or one must go without, we eagerly search for its temporary replacement until all is right with the world. I, like most, have to deal with temporary as permanent... or so it would seem in my current state. Gosh, I'm all over the place right now aren't I? I just kind of needed a realm of escape and a canvas for expression so I attacked with the first letter... first word...

My need for completion is the leading role, hogging up all the spotlight and causing quite the internal scandal. Ha ha how easy it is to relate life to fantasy. Gosh I want to run a few miles right now and allow tears to roll down my face. Training for this marathon has given me such a sense of freedom and completion; things that I have longed for. It seems simple minded but I am consumed by the scheduled practices, the grueling runs, the rewarding feeling of completing something so vigorous for the first time. You only get a first time once and I'm savoring every chance I have to make things a first.

This past week has been tremendous. Life, love, loss, gain, pleasure, pain, just everything. I completed a personal best last Saturday by running 11 miles. It was absolutely exhilarating. It may actually be the positive energy that set the days to follow in motion. I spent a joyous afternoon and evening with family following the run. Connected and reconnected with loved ones, god has truly blessed me with wonderful family members. I longed for Erica and Mariano to share the moments, but I know that we'll have many more together very soon.

Sunday. Brunch. Music. Chemistry. What is this? LOL I heard that quite a lot.. I don't know what it is but I kinda like it. (To Be Continued)!!

Went to a really great concert last night (Thursday) and saw a band called Metric. It was phenomenal... shared that moment with *Peekaboo. Why are things beginning to feel better than I had anticipated?

Love. Dubz. I can't stop thinking about what I'm feeling and how he makes me feel. It may as well be rejection, perhaps that is what it actually is. To say that you want to be with someone but can't is basically that, right? I think about him everyday, hopeless like a puppy waiting by the front door... listening carefully for the jingle of house keys. Nothing. If you don't know... I have falling in love with you. He challenged me by saying in six months that would be the case; I of course mistook this for cockiness... little did I know he was a magician with a stash of fairy love dust. Sweet words wrapped in sultry ideas. His kiss, many months passed, lingers all around me. I will not wait much longer, its not fair.

It is getting late. Practice in the morning will include a 12-14 mile jog. I'm feeling ambitious so 14 miles it is then.

Moseley, you have just crossed my mind. I really love you chica! You give me inspiration when I can't find it else where. You are greatness- life is destined for you... remember that!

Butterfly kisses to all my readers!! @TinaMarie13

Running Miles In My Shoes

2010-07-29T11:03:00.001-07:00

Christina Perez + NYC Marathon = No Way In Hell .... UNTIL NOW THAT IS!! :0)

On Saturday, June 5th I began my training for the NYC Marathon via the charity Team For Kids! My friend Melinda, I met her through Yasmin and she was one of the girls I went to the Bahamas with and became very close to, somehow got me to go to this first practice. I had no idea what I was getting myself into; I never ran distance, didn't have any running gear & was pretty sure this would be a one time deal.

The night before the practice I ran out to foot locker and bought a pair of running sneakers (on the cheap too, lol only $50). I woke up pretty early that Saturday and joined Melinda to meet up with the team at Central Park. When we got there, there were loads of people and I was VERY intimidated. Not so much because these were people I had never met, but because a lot of them looked like they were skilled marathon runners.

Ooooh sidetrack... I just put on a really dope Vocal Jazz radio station via iTunes. Mmm it sounds delicious!

Ok! So where was I? Ah yes...Intimidation!!! That feeling didn't last very long because I soon realized that there were a lot of first timers there. Fast forward to today, it is now July 29th and I'm going strong. I have improved greatly and have even exceeded some personal goals - I ran 9 miles 2wks ago, like OMG that's incredible. I have also been able to run without needing to walk to catch breath, which is a great thing considering none of these practices are getting any easier. Last night we had a speed work out which was the most intense workout yet. Haha I woke up this morning and hopped out of bed, tried to walk and FELL DOWN. No joke my legs were not ready for walking at all.

Ohhhh I almost forgot the best part- In running with Team For Kids, I have to raise $2620 for charity. Check out my TFK Fundraising page, I need everyone's help to make this happen! I have already raised $35 which is wonderful but means that I have a LOOONG way to go with only 70 days left to raise money.

The NYC Marathon is November 7th! If any of you can make it to see me cross the finish line that would be amazing! If you can't make it, please make a donation in any amount...even $1 will help!

xoxox I'm OUT!

@TinaMarie13

Getting Creative

2010-07-14T07:36:00.000-07:00

Just another typical Wednesday in Christina's World! If you have been following me on Twitter, then you know that it has done a pretty good job at being a blog substitute. If you haven't, then boy have you missed a lot... as I try to think back to the last 5 months, its been amazing. I have been a part of things that still have me floored, met people who have change my life, lost those that impacted and have put myself on a new path of self discovery. Did i mention that i'm training for the NYC Marathon?? Um yea, that's nuts right?

Since I know its going to be completely impossible to accurately describe what I have been up to in such a large span of time, I think I'm going to do my very best right now to abridge the whole thing! Ready... Set....

My birthday happened, I hit a milestone.
Jennifer Dickey moved from Japan and lived with me for a few months which was really awesome.
I'm still working at Island/Def Jam - first the digital media department and now the Creative Dept! (hence the title of this blog lol)
Made some new friends and hung out more with some oldies (Steph, Yas, Melinda, Holly, Zaza, Delmar, Chris, Aaron, Mandy, Kevin, Jess, Sel, Heekwang, etc)
Went to the bahamas with 3 amazing chica's and discovered what I had been missing (more traveling to come).
Partied as much as I could
Broke up with my long time boyfriend early in the year (officially)

Oh man... this could take days but you get the jist!

Right now I'm apartment hunting for a new place needed by September 1st, falling in love with a guy even though I'm not sure where it will go, if anywhere at all and still trying to gather my bearings in a new dept.
I'm going to get some training in the re-touching of images...I'm all about learning new things right?
Ugh and I'm finally going to dive back into my Grad School situation! Gotta get 'er done!

TTYL :0) Tina Marie

Follow me on twitter :0) @TinaMarie13

The Evolution of Dopeness!!

2010-06-13T16:00:00.000-07:00

Where the heck have I been since February? Clearly not blogging but I haven't fallen off the face of the earth completely!

Snowy state of mind

2010-02-27T08:51:00.001-08:00

I'm up this morning a little dizzy...having had a tad too much to drink at home with good friends, I'm weary of picking up the flipcam as I'm sure I acted a fool if memory serves me right. ::giggle::
Wish I wasn't feeling stressed, overworked, underpaid & lonely...all for the sake of loving what I do and having to be so far away from the ones that I love in order to do it, lame!

There is a terrible pull on my chest that makes me want to cry, like life has grabbed my by the balls and said "You no longer control anything, we'll take it from here". So here I am listening to Justin Bieber and its helping me feel better (wtf)...baby baby baby...oooh...baby baby baby...nooo thought you'd always be mine!!

So February has been one of those months where nothing goes right, despite how hard I tried to stay positive and keep that smile coming, it just wasn't happenin' for me. To elaborate lets start with the personal aspect of this; my personal life (friends not included) is crashing and burning.

Ready for a new year of randomness!

2010-02-06T18:05:00.000-08:00

It's been a very comfortable 2010 thus far- new and old friends, birthday celebrations, still employed, consistency with the boy & more!! ;0)

I celebrated my 25th birthday last month and it was fabulous. Dinner with great friends and family then tail feather shaking to follow! I realized that week that perhaps I have made a good impression on quite a few to be regarded as a "friend" and to be given so much love. Yes, it goes without saying that I CRIED and a lot. Happy tears damnit happy tears.

How is it already February again?? Thing's at 'ol IDJ are starting to pick up again and I'm doing my very best to keep up. I'm nearing my 1yr anniversary with the company which is a big accomplishment for me. On top of that I have shown my interest in taking on more responsibility, as I feel its pretty necessary at this point if I'm at all serious about moving up in the business.

OMG I totally bought a ticket to the Bahamas last night!!! What was I thinking? Ah yes, that its about damn time I take a much needed and deserved vacation. I'll be going with three other very lovely ladies (two of which I work with) so its bound to be trouble in an awesome kinda way! I couldn't see myself passing this trip up, especially since it was only $353 for flight and hotel and i'll be there for 5 days 4nights!! YES you read right...and exactly "I couldn't pass that up", I know right?!! I'm not going until the end of April so there's plenty of time to talk about how stoked I am as the time gets closer. Oh snap I really need to get my passport :0/

I also had drinks with Steph and Jeremy last night...ugh I really love that girl. Oh and speaking of loving girls, a friend that I've added to my circle of super cool chics is like me in almost every way...its freaky to the max. Yasmin (who I met while working long late hours while she was doing the same working as someones night asst.) She now works days so we get to chill at work and find out more weird things we have in common. I'm sad I didn't meet this girl years ago...she is super dope! She is one of the chica's i'll be sun bathing with under the Bahamian sun!! BooYaa

It's a wonderfully cold Saturday in NYC...it was supposed to snow today but instead missed Manhattan completely (Lame). I haven't left my house at all, kind of under the weather with this gross tickle in my throat and cough that is obnoxious to the max. I've made due by laying in bed with my computer watching episodes of Glee, listening to music & google-ing nonsense. I'm not updating this random blog and missing the cuddle of a boy I love. Oh how I wish he were here to make me dinner and hang out with me. ugh :0(

A puzzling question on my mind today is about my quest to become an adult but still being very much a teenager in my mind. I feel like I'm fighting to stay young because I think I'm old but really its all relative and nothing is as I am making it. I'm also hating that there is a situation I have become a part of that I have absolutely no control of. Sexyface is just amazing in my book but what the hell am I going to do about that? Oh right, who is Sexyface? Um I can't really say but trust me...its nothing but trouble. I'm absolutely infatuated and intrigued by the mere idea of this being. I'm sure we are just an escape from routine for each other but what happens when our escape becomes routine?

I'll leave you with this: "Stop being so lame..this is obviously a really cool idea and I'm sure we'll be sorry in the morning"!!!

R you ready for The Wait to be Ova??

2009-10-14T15:09:00.000-07:00

Hi peeps who read this :0) Oh what an awesome few days and wknd. Work last week was intense and it was good to flow into a party weekend followed by an intense Monday!

Selina turns 25 (mad granny LOL)! oh boy what a night- Karaoke anyone??

My World (Justin's World) Album Cover & News!!

2009-10-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

One of the most fascinating things about my job is knowing that you are a part of something new and exciting. I'm dedicating this blog to all the Beliebers out there...for those that don't know what that is, its Justin Bieber's fans. I have mentioned him in several blogs before but I'm quite amazed at how quickly his fans have come to support his music and his career as it takes off.

It makes me think about the Backstreet Boys and how incredible that was for me as a pre-teen following these hot boys success story, buying albums, watching concerts, screaming, crying...ugh so great! I should remind you that the BSB are one of the longest standing boy bands around! They just released a new album This Is Us yesterday and it is holding steady as the #4 album on iTunes- proving that fans never die! If you don't have it, get it because its amazing!

But back to Justin...this 15yr old phenom is making history for another generation of pre-teens and we certainly hope that he makes it in the ever changing business.
Yesterday, 10/6 was the release of his second single "One Less Lonely Girl" which is the #2 single on iTunes with Britney Spears holding steady at #1 (not a shocker)! I just couldn't believe the overwhelming response and it just ugh IDK its awesome.

If you don't know who this kid is please check him out and listen to both his singles "One Time" and "OLLG" streaming on his official site.

YAY BIEBER NATION!!
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER FOR UPDATES @TINAMARIE13

Where Have I Been..ah yes i know!

2009-09-23T19:03:00.001-07:00

Wooooooww how time flies when you're busy! Its been over a month since my last post and I feel pretty lame about it! Need I remind the world that my memory sucks but will make the best of it. I'm currently crashing in Brooklyn looking for my own spot but absolutely adoring the 35minute commute- if you remember correctly, I used to ride the metro north 1.5hrs each way a day not to mention the ridic cost of riding that damn train lol.

Island DefJam is going great. Yes it is! I feel comfortable (to an extent of course) and have really found my way. Meeting a lot of great people and learning new things everyday. Boy if i could tell you about some things I've encountered I sure would but thats for another space and time!

August was a pretty chill month for me. Jules-the director in my dept with whom i work closely-took a vacation for a week or so and I kinda took the lead a bit more and got an understand (if only on a minuscule scale) that what she does is pretty intense. It was during the release of Jessie James self titled debut album so there was much to be done but I came out swinging and got nothing but praise for my hard work...the best kind or reward in my book.

Its just day to day otherwise and I really wish I could fill in the blank spaces but I mondo fail. But to move forward, the next huge date is in November for Justin Bieber. His debut album My World is a really big deal at the label. This kid is a beast with his fan base- its like boy band chaos all over again minus the other boys! :0) His debut single "One Time" has been a huge success and I'm really looking forward to what he will do on release day.
Ive seen him perform live several times and they are all exciting things to watch as the girls scream and cry and reach out helplessly wanting to touch him- its freakin great. He actually did a show for my radio station and that was nuts. I think the best thing he's done thus far was his recent appearance at the Nintendo World Store in NYC. The turn out was nuts; so much so that the Today Show took interest and has invited him on their show (rock on). There were girls that waited there 18hrs in advance- trust me and i say that no one anticipated this. We had all of Manhattans finest coppers in full force shouting at fans to "stay back" or "get off that car" or "you're blocking traffic" etc. Soooo good!

Kristinia DeBarge has been doing great things and has been keeping me busy. She is about 2 shows away from wrapping up her first huge tour experience. She opened up for Britney Spears Circus Tour...sooo huge i know. Jordin Sparks was another opener. I busied with endless pictures to upload, videos to post, and I actually got to go to the concert when it was in NY at MSG. I actually missed Kristinia's short opener but rather enjoyed Britney- im not the biggest fan and kinda hate that she doesn't sing live and that the entire performance is calculated to a tee, leaving absolutely no space for spontaneity (LAME). But eh thats what happens when...hm let me not go there.

Aside from work my world (ha) is crazy as usual but why should I bore you with those deets! I should encourage you to follow me on Twitter though! Ah and stalk me on Facebook- i update that shiz equally as much as I now tweet. OK wait I guess its only fair to sorta talk about me right? Well I took a mini vacation to Florida for about 6 days and it was amazing...eh thats good enough.

XOXO
Super C-M-P

Sleepy Eyed Busy Watcher

2009-08-07T20:49:00.000-07:00

Oh my what a week, month. I know that those following are probably wondering why I have been M.I.A for so long; only sporadically posting and lacking substance to the fullest. Well my good friends in misadventure world, here I am...hoping you'll accept this entry as my "comeback" ha.

My life has been nothing short of a whirlwind adventure, I can assure you nothing less. I sit here wondering where to start and you can't imagine the trouble that I face in trying to remember everything that encompasses the last month and a half. I guess I can only do my best right?

IDJ:
Work has come a long way for me in the most positive of manners. I thoroughly enjoy what I do every single day, even if sometimes I have to take deep breathes because the loads overwhelm me. I am truly blessed to have found a job...

a little loud...a little noise...

2009-08-04T11:06:00.001-07:00

Last night I went to see the Noisettes live at the Santos Party House in NYC with one of my besties Stephanie Corletto!

Can I just say that I already knew they were amazing because I have seen a 3-song set at the IDJ Spring Collection but this was a full hour of Noisette mania!!!

Backstreet Boys Straight Through My Heart

2009-07-30T08:44:00.000-07:00

I absolutely know its been way too long since I have posted a blog and trust me there will be a zillion coming...mostly of the video persuasion.

This, however, is a special occasion about 2 days from when i wanted to post but hey its never too late right!!!!????

Take a deep breath....ready...BACKSTREET'S BACK BABY!

Yep you read right. The boys are back with a new single "Straight Through My Heart" and there new album This Is Us hits stores October 6th.

Everyone that knows me knows the love I have. They are my favorite ever...::deep slow breathes::!!

I missed there last tour for there previous album but WILL NOT this upcoming tour.
Check out the tour dates...so far its only europe!

The Vid To Go W/ Prev. Blog!!!

2009-05-24T11:58:00.000-07:00

Nothing but blue skys do I see!

2009-05-21T19:27:00.000-07:00

Ah my lovely on-readers what a gracious few weeks it has been! Last Friday was the greatest day ever, but It goes without saying that everything leading up to it was just as great. Last week I only worked Monday-Wednesday, It was highly necessary I take off the rest of the week for the graduation festivities. (Work is going really good by the way)

My best friend, Nicholas, flew into NY Wednesday night and initiated the trending of visitors for my most humbling occasion. The next morning my sister Erica flew in from Florida to New York as well...such a long way for me? No! You shouldn't have. :0)

And now the fun begins....so stay tuned for my video blog that I'll post tomorrow with all the amazing details. It would take far too long to type such a misadventure!

Busy Beavers Build Better Dams!

2009-05-08T18:38:00.000-07:00

Oh what a week it has been. Its pretty exciting to be so submerged in the release of singles and albums at Island/DefJam. The pre and post work is really intense but its Friday and I couldn't be happier.

I feel like it has been non stop for me, not only have I been working from 11-7 at work but up until yesterday I was bringing my work home with me just to make sure I had all my ducks in a row (haha that makes me think of duck duck goose)! Being a content manager is just that...managing content. I am the person that makes sure you know about what these artist's are up to. So if, for instance, Jessie James (on of our new artists) does a performance at imeem or a radio station, I post news bulletins on the label site, and bulletins on all of her social networks. I put up banners on their sites, I make sure their music is playing and you know what they are doing, where they are at, when they will be coming to your town, and much more. I do that for these artist:
Lionel Richie, Utada, Jessie James, PJ Harvey, Kristinia DeBarge, Justin Bieber, Jessica Jarrell, and Babyface. ::phew::
If that is not enough, when the artist's come to the label we get voice drops and video drops of which I splice up and make ready for their IVR line (you know, those snazzy things where you can call a phone number and hear the artist's voice and leave them your coolest fan message!) That reminds me, I have to edit Jessie James video drops!

I learned how to do something really cool this week. Not that this is super technically but when an album is release, they now do video chats with fans. Usually no more than 20-30minutes but it has really helped album sales and raising fan awareness of their release. Since I have been there Jadakiss and Rickross have done them; both very entertaining. The internet is very important to the promotion of these artists now a days. Well anyway, I got to watch a set up for the Chrisette Michelle Video chat done on this past Tuesday on the day her second album was released. We have mocospace host it while using kyte as the platform. Mocospace is a social network and kyte is like another generation of Youtube that anyone can use but artist's are having a blast with it. So I also met Chrisette (beautiful person) and that reminds me, last week I also met Jessie James. But back to the vidchat, this prepared me for the one I will be doing on my own with Kristinia DeBarge around the 20th of this month...I'll let you know how it goes!

The busy beaver business has been about prepping for the releases that are happening on Tuesday. Utada's physical album drops and Jessie James single "Wanted" will be available on iTunes for download. She is also going to be video of the week which is pretty exciting. Ugh but enough talk about work..how about me!!

Im extremely excited about the week to come. Next Friday is my graduation ceremony...finally right? Not only that but my best friend Nicholas is coming into town and I think my sister Erica will be coming from Florida as well. Its going to be a really great family affair. Im taking off work thurs/fri to enjoy my friends, family, and to party like hell. Selina suggests we go to graduation hungover...what do you think?

Well I'll update more later...im off to work promo for the radio station after an arduous day at the office. :0)

Tina!

WAY 2 LONG

2009-05-04T19:39:00.001-07:00

Clearly I am already sucking at this blog thing for it has been a month since my last post. It has been an absolutely insane month to say the very least. Work has got me busier than I could have anticipated. I HATE commuting! I don't understand how New Yorkers have been doing this for 10, or even 20 years. I can't stand one more second of it. To say the very least, I am exhausted all the time.

Work: It is going really well actually. Im finding my place and getting more comfortable everyday. Not everyday is a good day but you make the most of it and keep on moving. I have met a lot of nice people, a few musicians, and a bunch of insane industry lamerz.

Work: The radio station is good as usual. It stays consistent to my expectations. The people stay the same, I find myself changing a bit though; perhaps its the doom and gloom of manhattan skyscrapers. I love the station.

I am so sad that the last episode of Heroes for the season has just happened last week. It was really great and suspenseful and fulfilling and im counting down til next season for sure.

I feel disconnected. I miss my free time.

Off to bed I go. I think I should do this daily so I don't forget to do it weekly. hahaha

:0) CP

A super mondo fail or dumb luck..not sure yet!

2009-04-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I sit here watching nickelodeon (honestly, who is surpised?). I am taking in this past week and weighing in on the madness that occurred. I shall begin a the beginning..haha!

IDJ/Wk 3: "Freedom and Phonies"
I continue to stress this idea of things getting easier as time goes by but some days I feel like I have gone backwards. Look, it is an amazing thing to work in the 'industry' for such an amazing company like Universal Music Group... but I miss little things like 'family, togetherness'- its more like every man for themselves at this place; can we say cut throat. I struggle with understanding who cares about your success and who is waiting to see you fail, this of course is an utter waste of time. Maybe those who help you up just put you there to watch you fall, and hit every jagged edge on the way down. I grin, I bare, I move along.

Aside from my constant struggle with the commute, I am really getting the hang of things. I sit content with what I do and have understood that this is something I have to do to make my mark on the that big wide world of growing up. I need to love what I do everyday in order to be happy, but for now I like what I do and assure myself that it is what will lead me to my happy love of work. I am a sponge.

Lunches and Acquaintance: Thursday was our first department lunch. It was a way for everyone to mingle with me and Kabar (yet another new employee who began just a month before I had). It was arrange by Mark-- a super cool guy in my book-- he is one of the two heads of the New Media dept. We went to this swanky little place called 5 Napkin Burger (delishhhhh). I had the cheddar bacon burger, and very vanilla shake; oh and the table ordered 3 amazing appetizers (hot spinach and artichoke dip, fried pickles and pastrami, and wings- all superb!).

This is amazing...

2009-04-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

I took this really silly, yet fo-serious, color quiz and these are my amazingly accurate results!!

Christina Perez took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

""Seeking an escape from the things that are bringi..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Are things looking up? Perhaps!

2009-03-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

Second Week of work: It was still a rough and bumpy road for me but the more I get accustomed to the programs and the way things work, the more comfy I feel afterwards. Nothing unbelievably exciting occurred this week. I am quickly realizing that things are going to get really busy around here, especially with the new artist that are debuting and summer is all about singles! I don't think I mention this but I'll be working on the content for only new artist: Jessie James, Kristinia DeBarge, Justin Bieber (and Usher project), and Jessica Jarrell. All of these are very fresh faces to the industry and its really exciting to be on my end making sure the word gets out about them via web.

CAAAAAAAAAAARRR! So yesterday, oh glorious Saturday, I got my baby back (aah the excitement). After working a quick event for the station, I went to the shop to get my car. Can you believe they closed at 1pm and I showed up at 230pm? Dammit. No!! I said. I will not give up. I called the number posted on the building and vuala it was forwarded to a voice that said hello. Half an hour later a man showed up to give me my keys...the golden entry to my beautifully repaired chariot.

My weekend was super boring and was gone in the blink of an eye. I did have a great talk with a smarty pants person this week though...I love fantastic advice and insight. Im off to Purchase to stay with friends for the week...yay!

My First Week!!

2009-03-24T06:09:00.000-07:00

All Work & No Play....(yeah right)!!!!

Monday 3/16 marked the start of my first week at Universal Music Group/Island Defjam, and my first real job out of college. Trust me when I tell you, I was sooooo nervous. I arrived an hour early and when the other employees started to filter in, I was met with smiling faces and a department meeting; this apparently happens every Monday morning. After an hour of that, I was shown to my cube and my computer where I would be working my 11-7pm Mon-Fri.

I'm still not sure what to expect from this position but let me give you a little background into what it is that I do. I am a web content manager, which in my opinion is super self explanatory, but go into detail I will (hahah yoda). Basically, I work on specific artist's social network sites (myspace, facebook, imeem, youtube, kyte, etc.) and official website (Island/Defjam) updating content. This includes news, pictures, videos, sending out email blasts to their mail subscribers, etc.

Monday-Thursday were the absolute hardest days ever: I had to learn so many different programs and make the connection between what I filter in and how its put out. THIS WAS NOT EASY!! I was actually feeling really discouraged because there hasn't been traditional training given to me, its basically "do this and that" and the ask questions when I'm not sure what to do. The first two days I actually cried after work, feeling like I wouldn't get it or maybe I couldn't do it. This must be expected, however, in any new place- especially in a department that isn't exactly up your alley. By Friday I felt more confident, but I know there is a long arduous road ahead of me- especially since I will have to manage content for specific artist on my own.

Commuter woes..grr: Okay, so its no secret that trains and buses are the typical means of travel into NYC but damnit why so stressful. My first week I decided to stay with the few friends on campus during my college's spring break(mostly because it's less money and closer). The school has this cool free bus that takes you into its local city to catch the Metro north train, but didn't run during spring break. I had to take the local city bus, then the train, then walk 12-13 blocks to the building I worked in. This is already expensive but imagine a city bus that goes to a specific place (the only white plains city bus that travels to purchase) ending its travels at 6pm. What a pain in my ass!! I didn't get off of work until 7pm and by the time I walked to Grand Central and took the train to White Plains, it was 8pm. DAMNIT!! HAHA. Taxi was my only method of transportation and its like $15 to travel about 10 minutes away. I managed to hustle them down to $12 on Monday and Tuesday. I stayed with a friend in Brooklyn Wed-Fri and subway is only 2 bucks each way so I saved some money.

My typical commute will be from the Fishkill, NY area...google map that so you can see how far out I am. Matter of fact, here's a link (I'm on the Hudson line-the green one and my stop would be the New Hamburg location). It is about an hour and a half ride but fortunately its a straight ride with no transfers. A typical ticket one way during peak hours is about $15.75. If you do the math is over $30 a day. I'm going to get a monthly pass that will be a little over $300 so I'll save about $200 a month. This commute beats driving down to the city and trying to park!!! :0)

FUN FUn Fun fun!! I had to make this week worthwhile, considering my hours and tough week. So 6 of my friends and I met up at Union Square and had dinner at this amazing Tai restaurant called Spice. I had the vegetarian duck and it was the tastiest thing ever! So we ate, talked, drank, goofed off- it was amazing. We were there for like 3 hours. After dinner 5 of us went back to my friend Selina's apt in Brooklyn and spent the night. Ugh it was such a breathe of fresh air to see my girlies. (From L-R: me, isadora, jessica, selina, rena, heekwang, and calissa).

Weekend nothing! I headed back up to Fishkill on Friday night and worked two events for the radio station on Saturday then went back to Purchase with my friends on Sunday. The only good thing about my weekend was that I didn't spend to much time home and I rested. I had to recuperate from working a 50 hour work week...I haven't done that in a very long time (amc lol)

Finally...jeez

2009-03-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

HOORAY! I start working at IDJ on Monday 3/16/09. Until then I will be immersed in a busy K104 weekend. I'll be working Fri. Sat. and Sun. Here's the link for the K104 site so you can check out the events going on this weekend; If you are in my area come check me out or any of my peeps! www.k104online.com

WTF: This is something i'll try do do when something can only be described by such a comment. Okay so my car is repaired and looks beautiful but I can't have it. Why, you ask? Because I owe a deductible that is super out of my pockets availability. I tried to do a payment plan but the auto shop did not even want to hear it. So I carried my heavy heart and tears out of the door and bid my car a farewell. I'll see it in a months time when I can finally afford it.

"Nostalgia"--> My friend Selina and I were having a conversation about Family Guy and King of the Hill the other night and up came the topic of Ren and Stimpy. I absolutely love that show and am rather bothered by the lack of syndication. Thank heaven for Youtube and Hulu. My mind was microwaved to pieces by mindless hours of watching Ren and Stimpy engage in obscene and gruesome events. I can admire the influence it plays in 'toons today. The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack (from which my blog is partially named) has some of their really cool elements. I FREAKIN LOVE CARTOONS.

Well I'm out 4 now. You'll totally here from me after my first day.. :0)

So I Wait...

2009-03-07T00:13:00.000-08:00

I have no patience for the waiting game, hence 9 out of 10 times I don't bother but in this case my choices are very limited. Yes, I am referring to the new job. I'm still eagerly awaiting my start date...its more exciting than annoying that I haven't heard back. Either way I've been keeping myself distracted with life.

This reminds me, I am also waiting for my car to be repaired. I cannot stress enough how important having a car is. I don't believe I've mentioned this but it was recently in an accident-- no I wasn't the driver-- but it was pretty minor damage on the grand scale of things. I was told that it will be ready for pick up on Monday; hopefully by then I'll get start day news and have a celebration!!

Oh...aside from an amazing Monday eppy of Heroes (you should all know that I am a devoted fan), Dean and I did a podcast. I believe we have some kinks to work out but it was pretty cool having a past professor interview me; I'm excited for everyone to keep up with me via blog and Dean's podcast!

I just realized how uneventful my week has been. Thursday and Friday are the only two days I worked the radio station and they were okay. Thursday I was at a tech center partaking in a function that allowed high school students to check out the school and Friday (I just got home about 45 minutes ago) I was at the Empty Bottle in Middletown. Its like a bar but big enough to have a band play. It's a cool place although Friday's are hit or miss...It was packed this time around so I had a good time. It was just me and Scotty Mac doing the broadcast!

Today is the first full Saturday I've had off in at least 2 months and I'll spend it stranded. Maybe i'll catch that Watchmen movie! Oh how I miss working for AMC sometimes. Oh, I have to give Andy a shout out for joining the readers list!! xoxo

Well Its off to bed with me. :0)

JAM'n ISLAND OF DEF DREAMS!

2009-02-28T14:24:00.000-08:00

AAAAAHHHHH!! Okay so before I explode and spill out why I am so excited, I'll need to take you down my memory blvd. for just a moment. There was never a doubt in my mind that after high school I would attend college. My biggest mistake was not taking the college search seriously; understand me when I say this... I did not even look. Perhaps my assumption of getting into a good school was based on magic and luck! So I started at community college...hahah.

So my college career began January 2004-- Yes I started a semester behind (financial reasons). Nonetheless, St. Petersburg College was my place and boy was I in the zone. I was always an average student in HS but something about having to do this for myself made me strive for the best. I received straight A's my first semester and continued to be an above average student through to the completion of my Associates degree.

In 2006 I complicated the hell out of myself for many reasons. I was done with community college and really needed to get into a 4year institution so that I could get by B.A. Problem was, I still didn't know what I wanted to do. Deep down, I did, but factors such as location and family played major roles in the decisions I made then. Since my parents had already moved back to New York, I felt like I needed to be there too. However, I applied to some schools in Florida and got into FSU. While this would have been a great opportunity for me, I backed out and applied to schools in New York. Niagara University, Binghamton University and later SUNY Purchase College.

This [Niagara University] was my first real attempt at moving out to NY to be closer to family. I was really stoked about doing the college thing; but really nervous because I was still in my box. Fall '06 I only lasted one day at NU before driving back to my parents house and feeling really disappointed in myself. I didn't want to lose the semester so I moved back to Florida to much of my dismay. I took a few classes at SPC Clearwater and online then tried New York again in the spring of 2007 when I was admitted to Binghamton University.

BU was a dumb move to begin with, mostly because I wasn't in love with the idea but felt comfortable with having another friend from Florida starting there with me. Needless to say, I did not make it past registration when I was once again at my parents house. This time I decided to work out there and give myself the chance to love NY again. What a smart choice that was. I applied to Purchase and got accepted.

Purchase College was a blessing. I took a drive with my younger sisters and fell in love with the campus immediately. So, fall of 2007 there I was. A commuting transfer student and happy as ever. I tried my hand at campus life spring and fall of 2008 and it was worth every moment. December 2008 ended my college career and I am now the proud owner of a Bachelors degree in Communications and Media Studies!! (Ps: Commencement ceremony is May 15th)

Now what, you ask? Well, you know the economy and the job market is really shaky so I new what to expect. I had started applying for work around October 2008; I thought the earlier the better right? Wrong! It didn't really matter at this point. I was in a low place, really depressed, bills overdue, and at a loss for words. I started considering California more and more. So I gave Dean Kohrs a shout and we talked out somethings...he's good at ordering my jumbled ideas. Going back to school for another semester was an option, even though I couldn't afford it financially. I tried to work out those details but to no avail. So I did what I could to look for work, odd jobs, more hours at my part-time, etc.

Going to college and starting an amazing career is what every potential student dreams of right? Well, everyone knows that sometimes those 'dreams' don't pan out the way one intends. I'm a great example of things not panning out. I have a really hard time waiting for good things to happen but I really gave in this time. There was nothing I could do to make things happen any faster so wait I did.

FAAAAAAAAAAAASSTTTTTTT FFFFFOOOORRRRRRWAAAAAAAAARRRRRDDDDD!!

Now If you remember from my first blog I mention an interview with Island DefJam. Yesterday February 27th I received an email back about the position. I looked at the screen for a second with nerves before opening it up. ::Ready Christina...just open it:: I opened it and the only thing you would have seen and heard was me jump out of the chair as it flew out from under me and the loudest screech imaginable. I DID IT...I GOT THE JOB. No one is in more disbelief that me. I stared at it for hours...no joke.

It's unreal right? I am now a web content manager for Island/DefJam. OMG. What do you think?

My gravity disappears

2009-02-25T16:44:00.000-08:00

Oh my how the gravity has disappeared around me! December ended my 4yr college career and January kicked, into high gear, this life I'm supposed to be immersed in. Problem? Oh well I would say so...I am not really sure where my handbook for that went. It is now nearing the end of February and I have finally found my potential happy job. Aside from my part time at the radio station (K104), Ive got nothing going on. That was until a wonderful little bird screeched opportunity into my ear.

Two days ago I had an interview with the New Media department at Island/DefJam. For those unaware, I interned with Universal Music (IDJ falls under this umbrella) but never in a million years did I suspect I could have an opportunity such as this. I was received well and have been told that my interview was really good. What now? Well, I wait I guess... AAAAAH! I wait in a place lacking gravity and it feels strange and exciting but mostly strange.

While the news of the career post is still pending, I am also working on getting a place. A place to call home away from my mom's home. I have been considering a lot of places outside of New York. Whille the big apple is full of opportunity, its just not my ideal living place. My heart is set on California, but if IDJ comes through for me I'll have to, at least, stay in the tri-state area. Im figuring Connecticut would be lovely. Any thoughts?